


My Best Friend's Wedding

by lodgeladyv



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: F/M, I JUST LOVE ANGST MORE, I LOVE YOUSANA, don't kill me for this, okay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2018-12-10 14:42:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11693829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lodgeladyv/pseuds/lodgeladyv
Summary: When Sana's best friend, Yousef, gets engaged, Sana has four days to stop the wedding and confess her feelings.An AUCharacters may act a little OOC





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [My Best Friend's Wedding](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/312669) by Ron Bass. 



It was a fancy restaurant. Dim lighting. Crowd buzzing. A long line of rich celebrating and impatient. Everyone in the long queues had a reservation, which was at least an hour overdue.

The restaurant dining room was aligned with tables of power. Serviced by elegance. All the eyes were drawn to the one table receiving the most lavish service. Sana Bakkoush sits dressed in a black pants suit and wearing a dark gray hijab. She is unkempt, quick, volatile, scattered and beneath it all, a true beauty. Across from her a more stylishly dressed blonde man, Isak Valtersen, though the elegance seems forced on him.

“Don’t kill us on this one, it’s a long shot,” the chef says before placing a risotto dish in front of her.

Sana takes a surprisingly small amount, rolls it over on her tongue before swallowing it. The chef almost breaks his neck trying to read her expression. She makes dead flat eye contact with Isak before finally nodding. It wasn’t too bad, she thought. The chef breathes with relief. She turns to him.

  
“I’m writing it up as inventive and confident. Which it is. Off the record, I’ll need an extra boat of the ink. Or a salt shaker”

“I’ll toss a coin”, the chef says before turning his heels and leaving.

  
Isak looks around at the other tables. He’s on the receiving end of many pairs of awkward glances. “Is it ever embarrassing, having your bum kissed in public”

“If your ass isn’t chapped, you are not a good-writer of note”. Sana glances to her nearby waiters, who are shamelessly fawning. She pushes her risotto forward to a clearly hungry Isak. He gobbles it down.

“Is it sad to be an editor, and bask only in the reflection insincerity.” She asks teasingly.

“I’ve adjusted, and thanks for asking”

She learns forward, almost like she’s about to share something conspiratorial.

“You see, the pull of 21 chefs” She begins referring to her best-selling novel, “is not who I put in, it’s who I leave out”.

“Which is everyone you couldn’t get in,” he teased referring to her non-exiting love life. Sana rolled her eyes.  

“And some guys whose food I don’t like”

Sana’s phone begins buzzing. Her heart stops when she reads who’s texted her. Yousef. She scrambles to pick it up.

_Hey. It’s Yousef. God, it must be, what, months? I can’t wait to talk to you. I’m in Copenhagen at D’Angleterre. Call me four in the morning, or whenever you’re available. I’m desperate to talk. We gotta talk._

She smiled to herself remembering all their late night’s talks. Always at four in the morning.

Isak notices the look on Sana’s face. He’s never seen it before. Isak catches a glimpse of the message.

“Who is it? A man you’ll undoubtedly pick away every flaw of before throwing him out”

“No, no, the opposite. My best friend, Yousef Acar”. 

“Ah, the wandering sportswriter” Isak pushes the risotto back to her. “I didn’t know you two had a past”.

She narrows her eyes, gaze sharpening, and questioning. 

“The look in your eye” he continues. She blushes and shakes her head furiously. No.

“He’s friends with my brother. I used to have the biggest crush on him. Sophomore year at VG, we had these three months…” she trails off, a goofy smile washing over her face. Isak leans forward desperate to hear the rest of the story. “You know me, I got restless”. She shakes herself out of it. 

Isak nods. He did know her.

“So, I get up the nerve to break his heart. And he gets this… look. He says, ‘I knew I couldn’t hold your interest’, which, of course, makes me feel like the shallow bitch I’ve always been… Then he says, ‘but what makes me want to cry, is I’m losing the best friend I ever had’”

Isak sits back. Her voice slightly trembles. He’s not used to seeing her this vulnerable in the years he’s known her.

“And when he said it, I knew. I felt the same”, she smiles. “So, I cried. For maybe the third time in my life. And I kissed him on the cheek. And we’ve seen best friends ever since. Nine years, we’ve seen each other through everything. Losing jobs, losing parents, losing loves… traveled all over, we’ve had the best times. The best times of my life, maybe. Just talking over the phone, even”.

“Kindred spirits?” Isak asks.

“No, he’s nothing like me. He’s like you. Only straight” She laughs. Isak takes no offense. Yousef was nothing like Sana. He was the salt of the earth type. He was kind and loyal and generous. The one constant in her life was that Yousef would always be there.

“Is he still in love with you?”

Sana snaps out of it. She has nothing to say. “Maybe” is all she can get out. Was he?

“It never got in the way of our friendship,” she affirms.  

“Whenever Even tells someone how steadfast I am, he always makes me sound boring”

“Solid and genuine is not boring,” she snaps. Yousef was far from boring. Every interaction was always thrilling. She smiles to herself. “There was this one night in Drammen, like six years ago… He had gotten amazingly drunk, I mean, totally. God, I haven’t thought of this in so long. I can’t believe we did this. He takes a razor out and cuts his fingertip. He takes my hand and does the same to me.

  
“A blood oath? What are you 10?” Isak interjects. Sana ignores him.  

“He says, ‘swear, when I’m 30, if I am not married, we marry each other. He thought it would be a sign from god or some comparable authority that we were destined.”  
Isak sits still. Finally trying to piece things together. Yousef was two years older than Sana, he knew that. Sana still has a far away look. “We never talked about it again. I don’t know what made me think of that”.

“I do”

“He’s going to be 30 in three weeks, isn’t he?”

Sana drops her spoon. Holy. Fucking. Shit. It hit her like a ton of bricks. “You think?!?”

“Desperate to talk?”

Oh my god. Oh my god.

* * *

Sana paces back and forth her apartment. She looks at her phone, waiting for it to be 4 am. She silently counts down the clock.

Three.

Two.

One.

4 am.

The phone calls. Sana jumps to pick it up. “I’ve been calling for days!” Yousef yells into the phone. You wouldn’t believe it was 4 in the morning by his tone.

“I was working” she beams.

“Look, I have to ask you something”. Sana swallows. This is happening. This is happening.

“Something so incredibly important, that if you turn me down, I don’t know what I’ll do…” She doesn’t let him finish. She’s too excited. This is happening. They were finally going to be together.

“I just have to tell you this one thing first, okay? I was thinking about you, and I remembered this unbelievable insane night we spent together in Drammen, like a thousand years ago”.

Silence on the other end. Sana tapped her lips nervously. “There’s no possible way you’d remember the…”

“Are you kidding?” he interrupted. His voice is soft. This takes her back. The sweetness in his voice is overwhelming. Sana remembered all the reason why she liked him. “I think about that night all the time”. It feels like Sana is going to have a heart attack. It’s bursting so much. “But it’s not why I called”.

Sana blinks, confused. It’s not?

“I called because I met someone”. It felt like Sana had been hit by a tsunami. Barely able to swim to shore. Her smile breaks off. She feels her spine snapping because there’s something in his voice. The same sweetness. Sana’s sweetness.

“That’s great,” Sana says in a fake light voice.

“You don’t understand. I haven’t felt like this in a really long time”.

Since her? Sana thinks. She sits down hard, which leads to her falling to the floor.

“She’s all wrong for me!” he exclaims. Sana tries to hide the sound of her falling ass first to the floor.

“Well, that’s something.”

“Her dad is the billionaire who owns a publishing company. You know I’ve always been miserably awkward around those kinda stuffed suits” he continues, apparently not noticing her fall.

“Well, sure…” she agrees. She thinks back to all the fancy restaurants, she’s taken him to. She was sure, he purposely made himself look awkward to annoy her.

“But they’re so down to earth, such wonderful people”

“You’ve met her parents!?” Sana says, barely able to process this information. He never met any of his girlfriend’s parents.

“Well, sure” Oh my god, she thought. He’s serious about this.  

“See. We’re getting married. This Sunday”

And there it was. The knife in her heart. She could barely breathe. It’s Wednesday. And Yousef is getting married Sunday.

“Sana, I’m scared”. The worst part was, he did sound scared. His voice was child’s.  She walks to the mirror. If only someone could take a photo of her expression. They would study it for years to come. “I need you”. His voice was soft, so sweet, so heartfelt. Sana could feel a lifetime of emotions welling in her eyes.

“If you can’t come and hold my hand. I’ll never get through this. Please come. Please. Please.”

Sana wondered if she could bear to see Yousef, her Yousef, marry someone else. If she could stomach smiling dutifully by his side, while his wed someone other than her.

This was all Isak’s fault. He had reminded her of their promise. He had gotten her hopes up that they could finally be together. And then, it hit her. He was begging her. He was begging her to come to the wedding. He wanted her to stop him.

Before she could even think, “of course, I’ll be there,” rolled out of her mouth. She had to save him from himself.


	2. Chapter 2

“You couldn’t have driven faster?” Sana asks Isak as he carries her baggage towards the check-in. “You have no sense of emergency. My best friend is ruining his life!”

Isak was gasping for air. Marveling at how much she had packed for a four-day wedding. “No, he’s running yours,” he corrects her.

“Same difference,” she says dismissively. “If you love someone, it’s your duty to save them from themselves”.

“You have a real philosophy of life,” Isak says sarcastically.

“It’s called the Law of Love, asshole”

Her voice is harsh but Isak notices that Sana is at the edge of tears. They stop for a moment to admire the skyscrapers.

“I’ve got four days to break up a wedding, and steal the bride’s guy,” she says determinant. Isak looks at Sana. She can sense his disagreement. “He’s adored me for nine goddamn years,” she clarifies. 

“I can see why”

“She’s known him for maybe five seconds, plus she has billions of dollars, plus she’s perfect, so don’t feel sorry for Lil Miss Perfect”. Sana faces Isak. He doesn’t say anything. She’s now desperately trying to hold the tears back. He places his hands on her shoulder to soothe her.

“And don’t go around feeling sorry for me, you don’t know me that well. We’re only friends”.

 Isak smiles. “You’re something”

“I’m making a big mistake, huh?” She sighs. 

He smiles reassuringly. “Maybe you’ll learn something”

* * *

The flight from Oslo to Copenhagen was surprisingly short. The length always surprised Sana. The jet way was filled with passengers swarming together like ants in a colony. Sana was lugging multiple carry-ons, while desperately looking all around for him. And there he was. Yousef, tall, dark and handsome, walking towards her with his boyish grin and an unruly shock of hair. He looks gorgeous, sweet and just dangerous enough to be irresistible. His face lights up when he sees her, and she runs into his arms, shedding the bags along the way. He catches her in his arms and sweeps her off her feet, spinning her around in his strong arms, both laughing like crazy, their cheeks tight together. When he sets her down, he kisses her nose, his arms still around her.

“Can you believe it? Can you believe I’m actually doing this?” he murmurs.

Sana can barely concentrate. She’s lost in his dark brown eyes. “Not hardly,” she says breathlessly.

He beams at her. And she feels her knees getting weak. He turns around, she follows her gaze, feeling her face slowly turn to stone. A blonde girl with red lipstick and a yellow dress walks towards them. She’s small and slender with an incredibly striking face. This must be her. Yousef’s fiancé. Noora.

Noora walks towards them full of purpose, her eyes locked at to the women in her fiancé’s arms. At the last moment, Yousef releases Sana and Noora throws her arms around her. She hugs her with such genuine warmth that Sana can only, slowly, hug her back, giving Yousef a slight WTF look. He laughs.

“This just makes everything so perfect” Noora beams in a sing song voice. She grabs Sana’s arm, leaving Yousef to carry her luggage while continuing. “All I’ve heard, from the day I met Yousef was Sana this, and Sana that”. Sana looked at Yousef and smiled. He looked slightly embarrassed. “I think the best part of marrying this guy,” Noora says, which snaps Sana out of it, “is finding you. I’ve never had a sister!”. Noora’s eyes were full of joy.

Noora tears down the throughway in her Mercedes. She’s a confident driver who feels completely comfortable in her little open convertible. Sana was somehow lucky enough to drive shotgun with her, while Yousef was crammed in the back. The roar of the wind makes it impossible to have conversations, but that doesn’t stop Noora.

“I have to ask you this monstrous favor”

“You need a few hundred kroner,” Sana says sarcastically.

“Do you want to be my maid of honor?”.

What? Sana raises her eyebrows confused. She looks to Yousef who’s just grinning obliviously. What had gotten into him? How could anyone think this would be a good idea?

“My classmate Vilde shattered her pelvis line skiing”. Noora continued

“Why don’t you just promote one of your bridesmaids”

“The bridesmaids are my only two female relatives under 40 who are basically vengeful sluts. With amazing bodies”. She added, almost pathologically incapable of being mean. “This means I have four days to make you my new best friend”.

* * *

When they arrive at the dress shop in downtown Copenhagen. The place is stunning, high-ceiling, soft and fancy designer sofas and chairs. It looked like the type of shops Even had forced Sana to look at when she moved into her apartment but were way over her pay grade.

A period-like sitting room was ringed with mirrors along its tapestried walls. Noora takes a seat straight in front of a platform. Being in a room with mirrors just emphasize all Noora and Sana’s difference. She was wearing light colors with pale skin, long blonde hair and red lipstick. Sana, on the other hand, was wearing her usual black on black adorned with a black hijab. Noora looked like the marrying kind.

Sana climbs the platform and seamstress apart fitting her into a sleek daffodil-colored gown. She constantly pokes Sana with her pins, while looking to Noora for approval.

“If you’d rather the lilac” Noora begins. Sana shakes her head. 

She did look beautiful in the dress. It hugged her perfect. Maybe Yousef would see her in this dress and just leave Noora before she even walked down the aisle. Sana looked at the rack of lilac dress, confused.

“I thought bridesmaids had to wear the same dress”

“Not you!” Noora exclaimed. “You won’t be comfortable unless you’re distinctive”.

Sana glanced to the closed door behind which Yousef was waiting for them. She smiled to herself. “What else did he tell you”

“You hate weddings, you never go.” 

Sana nods.

“You’re not up for anything conventional, or popularly assumed to be female priorities. Including marriage. Or romance. Or even..” She stops herself, not wanting to offend.

“Love” Sana interjects. Noora smiles slightly embarrassed. The seam stress keeps poking, oblivious to the conversation. “That’s why Yousef and I were a wrong fit. Right from the start.”

“He said that, too”.

He had? Sana thought. The idea of Yousef talking Noora’s head off about her had made her so ridiculously happy, she hadn’t thought of him sharing why they were wrong for each other. Sana’s phobia of letting anyone close had always cost her, but nothing more important than Yousef. He was marrying the anti-her.

Noora smiles brightly at her before hugging Sana tightly. Again, with the hugs. She floats out the room trailed by the seamstress. Sana observes herself in the mirror.

As Sana begins to undress, she hears an argument outside the door. She strains to listen to it. It sounds like Yousef and Noora. She can’t make out the words. She dashes towards the door, only to stub her toe on the platform. Shit. She falls against the door with a thud that makes her wince. Suddenly, the arguments stop. She cracks open the door and sees nothing. Opens it wider and Yousef storms through. Sana jumps back.

“Come in, and shut the…” She whispers to him.

He’s taken aback by her beauty, simply letting out a wow. Sana starts blushing. He knew how much she hated this, dressing in a big colorful dress. He looked at the collection of black on black clothing on the floor.  

“Should I turn around or something,” he says, acting like he’s seen her in her underwear. She rolls her eyes.

“I’ve seen you in fancier clothes than this. Remember Mutasim’s wedding in Greece two summers ago. You were wearing this beautiful red dress” Yousef says dreamingly.

Sana did remember that night. They had escaped the wedding and spent most of the reception on the beach, listening to the crashing waves. Sana was snuggled into Yousef who held his arms around her to keep her warm. It was a perfect. 

Sana would never forget the look on his face when he saw her in the dress. He looked knocked out. He moved closer to her and got in her personal space to whisper,  _you’re a very pretty girl._ This had made Sana blush like a little school girl. He knew how to make her weak in the knees.

“Which you got wet because you threw me into the water” Sana smiled before her face fell slightly. “Things are different now,” she said somberly.

He nods, a little sadly. I guess they are. He turns his heel to leave before turning around. “You’re still a very pretty girl”.

They hold their look. Sana’s gazing. Neither of them averting their eyes. There’s such feeling on both sides. Sana doesn’t know what to make out of it. The intensity overwhelms her. She swallows. And then, he leaves and closes the door behind him. Sana falls into a chair with a giant grin on her face.

He wants her. She knew it.


	3. Chapter 3

Noora ushers Sana through the crowded lobby to the elevator, while talking happily about her honeymoon. Something about quitting her job to follow Yousef around. Sana could barely believe that someone would do that in this day and age, or that Yousef would be okay with it. What had happened to him? 

“Takes one woman in a billion to put up with his array of shit” Sana laughs. “The guy is a one-man festival of idiosync…”  Noora slams the penthouse button and looks at Sana calmly.  Urging her to go on. “Well, you’ve been introduced to the symphonic range of… “

“His snoring? Yeah. He has this snaffle one”. 

Sana bursts out laughing and starts imitating his incredibly annoying high-pitch snarl.

Noora nods. She’s laughing too now.“It has this sorta phlegm rattle behind it”. 

She begins to imitate it. The elevator stops at the first floor. A small family of four get in. oblivious, Noora continues her imitations. No, now she’s demonstrating the phlegm rattle and she’s really into it. The family watches horrified, while Sana feels like she’s going to keel over laughing. Partly due to the ridiculousness, and partly because her imitation is so accurate.

“Luckily, ear plugs work,” Noora says as she stops.

“But what about…” Sana begins.

“His hookah obsession? I broke him on that. But the bathroom’s a swamp. He wears sneakers to dinner, tells the same, admittedly funny, jokes three hundred times”.

Sana sucks in for a breathe. Every word recalls a painful memory. The time they spent the entire night at a Hookah bar in Berlin? Sana always complaining about his bathroom being unkempt when she would stay over. Sana taking him to a fancy restraint and him showing up in sneakers and a T-shirt. She had to bribe the waiter to give him a jacket. His awful jokes that Sana loved. 

The family exited the elevator at the next stop. Somethings told Sana, they weren’t at their destination yet.

“He sucks soup through his front teeth”

“That’s his trademark move, don’t touch it,” Sana says teasingly, almost threatening her.

“But he sure can kiss,” Noora says dreamingly. This was something Sana had no knowledge of. She felt gut punched. She had learned nine year’s worth annoyance and such a short time, while also learning things Sana never had.

“After two weeks of cataloging all his faults, I made a command decision that changed my life”. Noora slams the emergency stop button. Sana jumped. “I threw the list away” Noora continues. “He’s not a balance sheet, so many wonderful qualities, so many faults. He’s Yousef. And loving means loving all of this”.  She motions to Sana while moving uncomfortably close.

“You’ll always be there. In his mind. The perfect creature he loved all those years”. She whispers. Sana heaving, suddenly freaking out. She hated being stuck in small spaces. She moves away from Noora.

“Well, perfection can get wearing after a while,” Sana quips.

“I’m not joking. I had to face up to all my competitive drives, and believe me, I’ve got ‘em. And the answer was so simple”

“I was going to predict that”

“You win, Sana”

Sana stops dead in her tracks. Suddenly, she’s not feeling sick anymore.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re enshrined in his heart and memory. Unassailable. Which works out great”

“I think I’ve missed a step,” she says not able to follow Noora’s lead.  

“He has you on a pedestal. And me in his arms”, she smiles sweetly. Sana had to fight the urge to punch her but restrained herself. She strained a smile.

* * *

As soon as they reach the penthouse restaurant, Sana escaped to the balcony where the guys were. She waves quickly to Noora’s mother and her cousins. She sees a waiter with a tray of drinks headed for the guys and she grabs it.

“Which one of you ordered cold beverages” She calls out. Yousef is admiring the view with Adam, Mikael, Mutasim, Elias and an older Norwegian looking man. Must be Noora’s dead. The billionaire.   
  


Yousef jumps at the sound of her voice. “Let me give you a hand”, he reaches out. She slaps his hand away. 

“I can handle this. Are you implying I’m clumsy?”

He stops in his tracks. The guys whistle behind him.

“Think of that. And as well as I know you”, he chuckles.

She hands the drinks to Mutta and Mikael first.

“Sana Bakkoush, this Albert Sætre, Albert, this Sana, Elias’ sister,” Yousef says, introducing Sana to Noora’s dad.

Alberts points from Sana to Elias acknowledging the resemblance. Elias gives his sister a high five and a knowing look. He knew why she was there. He knew her. She avoids his eyes.

“Hey Sana, are you going to be Yousef’s best man,” Mikael asks.

“Spot’s already preoccupied,” Elias calls out. He was still bitter about being relegated since Sana had taken over the best friend spot.  

“I am going to dance with you,” she said to Adam while handing him his drink.

“Dance? You don’t dance. You learned to dance?” Yousef says confused.

Sana flashes an innocent smile. “I’ve got moves you’ve never seen,” she says as she sways back and forth, which prompts some hollers. She hands Yousef the last drink.

“You’re an imposter,” he says, his voice low and intense. He’s in shock. “What have you done to my best friend?”

Sana smiles, raising an eyebrow.

Later in the day, Yousef and Sana sit together, enjoying the view. The guys retreated inside to flirt with female guests. The balcony is almost full, yet it feels like they’re alone in the world.

“I just admire your maturity, that’s all. I mean, there are people who would find that kind of perfection boring. Day after day, year after year… “

“…See, that’s what I thought at first. How can you like someone that perfect? No potential for long range livability. How can you trust someone you can never mistrust?”

Sana nods and sips her drink. They’re not looking at each other.

“No matter how many times I leave the toilet seat up, she forgets and puts it down”

“Endearingly absent-minded”, Sana quips.

“My point. Here’s another one..” He shakes his head. This one really gets him. Sana faces him. “Every day, she makes the bed”.

“Quite the little eccentric”

“At first, I thought it was a gag, but she’s always done it!”

Sana raises her eyebrow. This was not the ammunition she needed to destroy the relationship, Sana was hoping for. Does this girl have any flaws?

“She’s the first girl I ever knew who let me give her bath”. The look in Yousef’s eye as he said that. She could hardly bear it. “And when I hug her, even in public. I don’t have to let go right away. She lets me hold her as long as I want”.

A knife in the chest. Sana was always so uncomfortable by PDA. She thought back to all the moments they’d share where he’d tried to hold her hand or hug her. She’d always slither out of it. She thought of how much it must’ve hurt him. Did she drive him into the Anti-Her’s arms? Yousef seemed so deeply in love. It killed her.

Yousef smiles at her, and she smiles back only to discover he’s looking at something behind her. Noora comes prancing onto the balcony and hugs Yousef. It lasted for a few seconds but it still made Sana feel like an outsider. She looked anywhere but at them. This was akin to how she felt when people made out in the streets. How can a hug make her that uncomfortable?

They sit down at the nearest table. They begin talking about their honeymoon. Noora lets Yousef plan it because he always finds these cozy spots everywhere. Sana remembered that. He had a knack for planning tips. “The guy always knows the best everything. The best guitar store, the best beef ribs, the best record, was he always like this?” Noora asks Sana.

“Always. The best dim sum, the best camping stuff…”

Yousef runs his hands through his hair, staring down at his feet. Sana could see his face turning red. Compliments embarrassed him.

“I think we’re embarrassing him,” Noora laughs, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Best valley in New Zealand, best… best women’s shoes,” Sana continues, winking at Yousef. He grins back at her, remembering a fond memory. Sana felt butterflies in her stomach.

“I tried those on. When you weren’t looking” he laughs. Her eyes widen and she feels like she might keel over from laughter.

“Where was that, Florence, huh?”

“Firenze,” he corrects her.  

It was as if they both locked in on the same memory.  Both got a dreamy look. They moved in closer together, smiling absentmindedly. Noora watched them.

“The Vespa? Me hanging on behind in the rain all night?” Sana says.

“Till the gas ran out” Yousef continued.

_Sana ran out the restaurant yelling hand in hand with Yousef. He was flashing a mischievous grin. Her clothes and hijab quickly becoming soaked._

_“I don’t think we’re going to make it”, she yelled to Yousef._

_“Have a little faith,” he yelled back. He saw a little pathway where they could get shelter. He guided her towards it. For the first time, Sana allowed herself to look at Yousef who was trying to dry himself._

_A simple rain drop that fell from the tip of his lock down his neck disappearing into his T-shirt. She could see the goosebumps along his neck. His mouth was open, breathing heavily._

_“We’re never going to get back to the hotel in this weather”_

_“I told you, we needed to rent a car”_

_“Is this really the time for I told you so’s”_

_“It’s always the time”._

_Sana rolled her eyes, shaking to the very core of her body and teeth shattering. Yousef stepped forward rubbing the sides of her arms.  She leaned forward and placed her lips on the edge of his neck. His body was cold. He was probably freezing more than her, given that he was only wearing a T-shirt and shorts. She was resting her head on his shoulders when she saw a Vesper unlocked._

_I have a better idea,” she said as she looked towards to the vehicle. Yousef’s eyes bugged out._

_“You don’t mean”_

_She dragged him towards it by the end of his T-shirt. The next thing she knew they were cruising down the road to their hotel. Sana’s arms clinging to Yousef’s waist._

_By the time they reached their hotel, the rain had mostly stopped pouring, yet Yousef flew past it. Neither wanting to break the moment. Neither wanting to find the shelter they craved before. So, the night turned to dawn and the gas ran out, and they ended up stranded a few miles outside of town and had to hitchhike back._

“I love Florence,” Noora said, interrupting their memory. Sana’s eyes flicker. Could this be her opening? However small it seemed. She kept her eyes, easy smile and killer instincts trained on Yousef. 

“Take her there”

He furrows his eyebrows and tilts his head. “What? She deserves a nice honeymoon,” Sana says simply.

“Noora,” an older woman, presumably her mother, called.

“I have to go. I have plenty of preparation for the wedding”.

She jumps up. Yousef and Sana decide to follow her to the car. She’s slightly tipsy, so they both have to hold her up. Yousef opens the door for her. He kisses her tenderly through the open window. They were so sweet together. How was Sana going to break them up? The day was almost over, so she only had a little over 3 days left. Noora waves past Yousef to Sana. They both watch as the car drives off.

Then, they decide to take a walk. The two walk aimlessly around the Copenhagen streets.

“How many capitals of Europe have we been to?” Sana smiles at Yousef.

“I’ve lost count,” he replies with a chuckle. 

They loved traveling together. She can barely remember the last time they just hung out in Oslo.

“Are you sure you want to continue? That part of the neighborhood can be kinda rough”.

“I’m always safe with you” she answers. He takes her by the hand.

“Pretty amazing girl you’ve found.”

“Yeah?” He seemed surprised by her observation. 

“Yeah. I mean…” she begins, trying to act as casual as possible. “She’s willing to leave her family, friends and everything she knows to follow you around, which is weird because she seems so driven and ambitious otherwise”.

He let’s go of her hand and looks down at the pavement. He puts his hands into his pocket and creates fists. 

She’s clearly hit a nerve. Trying to sound as casual as possible, she continues. 

“I don’t think she’s naturally the submissive type. Aren’t you afraid she’s gonna choke on this stand-by-your-man shit after a while”

“No” he interrupts harshly. 

This is promising. She’s getting somewhere.

“Her dad is this big-time publishing guy. Most girls in her spot would be angling to get Daddy to offer you some juicy gig right here, or in Oslo, or in Stockholm. You know settled down”.

“She would never. Never. Even think of that”.

“You’re right. That would be deceitful, manipulative, controlling, emasculating”

“I got the point”

He looks at Sana. No smile on his face with an edge Sana hasn’t seen in years. She’s angered him. The thought of being a corporate puppy angered him.  

“What you’re talking about. That would be a girl, I don’t even know. Definitely not Noora”

* * *

The next morning, Sana and Noora cruise the stately display of jewelry in the shop.

“You were saying?” Noora says. “About Yousef’s job? I just think you’re wrong”

“You’re probably right. Forget I brought it up”

Noora wrinkles her nose. “He loves his job”

“I think he’s looking for stability. He’s always traveling in shitty hotels with shitty food. Why trade that for say, a big piece of the PR at a powerful, complex, challenging conglomerate like your dad’s”.

Noora stares back with a strange look. “That’s just the sort of thing my father and I discussed”.

Sana blinks, amazed. She couldn’t believe her luck. Poor little Noora was walking right into her trap. Before she knew it Noora ran out of the store. 

Later that day, she got a phone call from Noora saying her father loved the idea. Sana was thrilled. The moment she’d bring it up to Yousef, the anti-establishment person inside of him would remember how much he loathed rich people and he’d put an end to this ridiculous farce.

Imagine, the smile on Sana’s face when she finds them arguing in the hotel lobby.

“Was this your father’s idea?” She heard him yell. Noora was crying and denying it. Yousef spotted Sana. “Did you know this?”

“I–_” She started to lie.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. We had already agreed and I regened it. Forgive me,” Noora cried. Yousef softened at her tears.

Oh no, Sana thought. He was forgiving her. He was actually forgiving her. Yousef pulled Noora into a hug. And the two kissed and made up. 

Sana strained a smile. Shit. Her plan had failed. 


	4. Chapter 4

Isak and Even were sitting in their fancy Oslo penthouse apartment, entertaining their dinner guest, when the phone rings. Isak sees Sana’s name flash across his mobile, but he ignores it. He didn’t want to be dragged into whatever hell she was causing in Copenhagen. He continued talking to Magnus when suddenly Magnus’ phone rings. Magnus looks at the number, baffled, before handing it to Isak. 

“It’s for you”. Isak narrows his eyes. She was unbelievable. 

“Isak”, he hears Sana scream. He cringed and moved the phone away from his eyes. “I’m in a meltdown here! She’s double-crossed me. You should’ve seen her. She groveled. She actually groveled. She’s so wrong for him. Help me. Come to Copenhagen. Help me stop this stupid wedding!”

“Sana,” he says interrupting her.

“Please. Please,” she begs without noticing the irony. “I’m running out of time. I’m completely out of sneaky ideas”. He sighs.

* * *

The following morning Sana is completely spread out on the bed in her hotel room. Around her candy wrap paper and empty wine bottles. She’s drooling on the bed when there’s a loud bang on the door. She blinks herself aware, examining the wreckage. 

She spent the night raiding the mini-bar, pouring out alcohol in the sink, Noora’s dad was paying for all of this. She might’ve as well enjoyed it, even if she can’t enjoy herself. Frivolously spending their money made her feel a tiny bit better. She quickly puts on her hijab sloppily to hide her hair. When she passed a mirror in the hallway, she noticed she was wearing a purple face mask, she forgot to wash off last night.

Sana opened the door, revealing Isak standing there, looking dashing. She still wasn’t used to his suits, a feature that Even had taught him. He looked good in them. She screams, jumping into his arms. He jumps slightly back.

“What a hideous room,” he comments teasingly. As she moves to let him enter the room. “Death by mini-bar, how glamorous”. He motions the mess. 

“You flew all the way down here. You hate flying”. She seemed touched by the gesture.

“And I have to fly back in the evening. We have this thing in Lille Hammer with Even’s family”.

 Isak escorts Sana to the bathroom and sat her on the counter like she was a baby. He finds a towel, rinses it in water and begins cleaning her face.

“She’s perfect,” Sana says as if that’s the most disgusting thing in the world. “She’s annoyingly perfect. And what I mean with annoyingly perfect is that there’s nothing annoying about her perfection!” 

“You like her,” Isak says slightly surprised. 

“If I didn’t have to hate her, I’d adore her. Which is why I am doing.”

“Okay?”

She looks up at him and winces, as the movement makes him scrape her face. He looks apologetic.

“I am saving her just as much as I am saving him. She would be miserable with him.” She jumps off the counter and paces towards her bedroom. “He was in love with me for nine years!” She says more to herself than to Isak.

He walks over to her grabbing her hands and forcing her down on the bed. His voice gets low and he looks at her intensively.

“Sana, do you really love him? Or, is this just about winning?”

“In the beginning, it was mostly this prior claim. He’s mine,” she admits. Then, she gets a dreamy look in her eye as she thinks back to how flirty they’ve been since she arrived. “But now, when I’m with him, he’s just so wonderful. How come I never saw that when I could’ve had him?”

“It’s amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy” Isak quips. “Just tell him you love him. Tell him you’ve loved him for nine years. But you were afraid of love. Tell him you were afraid of needing”.

“Needing what?”  

“… to belong to someone. We all are, sweetheart. Tell him this is the worst, dumbest, cruelest time to tell him this. But you thought he had a right to know. He’s got to choose”.

Sana purses her lips. “So, tell him the actual truth?” she says incredulously. This was not the sneaky plan she had hoped for. He laughs.

“Maybe not the actual truth. Highlights”.

* * *

Isak walks Sana to Yousef’s tux fitting. He didn’t want to miss this moment. Sana Bakkoush being vulnerable? Once in a lifetime moment. He wondered if he should’ve brought popcorn. When they begin seeing the outline of the fitting room, Sana stops dead in her track. Isak follows her gaze, noticing Yousef looking beautiful in his tux. She starts freaking out. Isak places his hands on her shoulder to calm her down.

Yousef sees this from across the room. He cocks his eyebrow. Who is this blond guy with Sana?

He calls her over. She smiles nervously. The strange man stands back. They hug for barely two seconds. Sana was painfully aware of her lack of PDA now after seeing Noora and Yousef’s decade long hugs. 

“Wow”. She simply says.

“You like it?”

“Yousef, you look. Wow”.

She runs her hands over his jacket, smoothing it everywhere with a tenderness that approaches intimacy. Her fingers travel lightly over the lapel, the side-stitching, the cloth straight down the spine. Yousef tenses up.

“I don’t know what I’d without you,”  he whispers. Sana overwhelmed takes a step back. He goes to his real jacket to pull out a small box and hands it to her. It’s a wedding ring. It’s beautifully encrusted with diamonds. Sana can barely keep her eyes off it.

“You think she’d like it, ” he says.

She snaps her head up. “It’s beautiful”

“Hold onto it.”

“But?”

“I trust you more than Elias. You’re practically the best man anyway.”

She agrees and tucks it into her pocket. 

“So, what do you want to talk about?”

“Oh yeah, Yousef” She begins, trying to gather the courage. “We’ve known each other for a long time, right? And in that time, we’ve grown close. Very close. Do you know what I mean by close?”

He nods. They’re standing incredible close and Sana can’t help but get lost in his cologne. He flashes his boyish grin, which always makes her weak.

“I think so,” he smirks.

“Sometimes people think they know how they feel about each other. But they don’t. Until they do”, she begins to ramble. Yousef looks at her slightly bemused. This doesn’t help clear Sana’s mind. “I have a point. The question is, am I getting to it?” She says as his smile fades and he tilts his head confused. How do you encapsulate nine years of love into one big declaration?

“Why don’t you? Whatever it is, it can’t be that big of a deal. “

“O, Yousef. Big deal is a relative term”.

Her gaze turns to Isak, trying to get some encouragement. He motions for her to continue. Yousef’s eyes follow Sana. He notices the strange blond man again. Isak turns sharply and collides into a mannequin, falling to the floor.  

“Who’s that guy?” Yousef asks Sana.

“That’s Isak. I’ve told you about Isak. He’s my editor”

“Are you working this weekend?”

“No. he’s here to be with me,, ” Sana says vaguely.

“Why? “Yousef prods.

“Because he’s my friend. He’s my good friend”. She steps back before finishing her sentence. “My best friend these days,” she whispers, her voice filled with hurt. “You’ve been busy”. He looks down, first upset by her admission but acknowledging its truthfulness. They hadn’t been close these days. And it was his fault.

“So, is all of this about Isak?” A light goes off in Yousef’s ey like he suddenly understands everything. He starts walking purposely towards Isak who just regathered himself  

“Why don’t you introduce us?”

“What?” Sana says confused.

“I’ve heard so much about him. I want to meet him.”

* * *

“I’m speechless,” Yousef says as they walk towards Isak. He looks him up and down, noting he’s nothing like Sana’s usual type. But then again, Noora wasn’t Yousef’s when they met. Love worked in mysterious ways.

“That’s Sana,” Isak says reaching out to shake his hand.

“Congratulations!” Yousef and Isak say enthusiastically at the same time.

Sana wanted to die. They both look confused as they both turn to Sana who just strains a smile.

“I told him, puppy,” she says to Isak. “That we’re engaged!” 

Isak smile fades as he looks from Yousef to Sana. What did she do? She moves forward and grabs his hand. He tries to whisper something to her, but she squeezes his hands so tightly, he could barely get any words out. He didn’t know why he was surprised. This was classic Sana. Anything to avoid dealing with her emotions.

 Next thing Isak knew Yousef invited him to a pre-wedding dinner. He tried to tell him that he was leaving in a few hours, but Yousef wouldn’t hear of it. He had to get to know the person who had tamed Sana. 

During the car ride, Isak kept putting his arms around Sana to prove they were a couple, something that Sana recoiled at, until Yousef looked at them, and she was suddenly into the PDA. 

“It’s funny” Yousef began chuckling. “The way you’ve always spoken about Isak. I thought… It seemed like… I was thought he was…”

“Gay” Isak interjects, laughing hysterically. Sana starts laughing too, which weirds Yousef out. “Common misconception”.

“It is. It’s because Isak likes to pretend he’s gay” Sana laughs.

Yousef looks at the couple like they are insane. “Why would you do that?”

“Oh, I find it attracts women” Isak replies, burying his head in Sana’s neck.

“It worked on me!”  Sana says interlocking her fingers with Isak, and showing it off proudly to Yousef. 

So, that’s how Isak ended at a family dinner with his pretend fiancé, the love of his pretend fiancé’s life, the love of her life’s fiancé and the love of her life’s fiancé’s family. Sana hating every moment of it, Isak finding a strange pleasure in watching her squirm. If she had put him in this situation, the least he could do was enjoy it at her expense.

Noora was thrilled. As soon as she saw Isak, she jumped into his arms, screaming. She was so happy that Sana had found someone and that she wasn’t alone and bitter. Isak had to physically restrain Sana after that comment.

“It must’ve been comforting know that in the end. The love of your life was right in front of you,” she almost sang as they waited for the food to arrive. 

“Yeah” Sana nodded, looking at Yousef who was sitting right in front of her. 

Isak elbows her. “She’s talking about me,” he whispers.

“How did you guys meet,” Noora’s mom asks.

“Isak is my editor.”

“Sweetie, we met way before that!” Isak interrupts. “It’s actually a very romantic story. Would you like to tell it sweet pea?”      

“I don’t this is the time.”

“We met in a mental institution,” he says to everyone’s gasps. “Sana was there visiting some chef she had put there with a bad review. And I was there visiting Gabrielle”.

“Who’s Gabrielle?”

“Sacrilege!” He simply says before continuing. “Or, he thought he was Gabrielle. So, there I was with Gabrielle, whose real name was Jørgen, and there comes Sana breezing through the door in pink”

“Pink? Sana doesn’t wear pink,” Yousef interrupts looking at Sana with a WTF expression. Who is this guy? She lifts her shoulders smiling. 

“But she does, Yousef. Sometimes she wears pink,” Isak replies. 

“Isak!” Sana says elbowing him. 

“You do,” Isak says more harshly now. 

“I do,” Sana smiles. If looks could kill, however. Isak would be dead. He knew this. So he took extra pleasure in this moment. 

“And in that moment, I knew.” Isak turns to the rest of the table. 

“They don’t need to hear this,” Sana says trying to stop the story. Where was he going with this? 

“I’m curious,” Yousef says. He looks intensely at Isak, almost daring him to go on. 

“I knew that someday we’d end up like this. One day we’d be together. I turned to Gabrielle and asked her if this beautiful siren could ever love me. Are the gods that kind? And Gabrielle turns to me, opened her lovely eyes and said…”

“What did she say?” Noora asks breathless, completely entranced by his story.

 _The moment I wake up_ , he begins singing. Sana’s eyes widen. He’s not. He’s not actually going to sing in the middle of the restaurant.

_Before I put on my make up_

He continues. Sana feels like sinking into the floor. His singing elicits gasp from across the room. Noora, her mother, and cousins all sing along happily.

_I say a little prayer for you._

_While combing my hair now_

_And wondering what dress to wear now_

_I say a little prayer for you_

Sana looks around embarrassed by her company. She locks eyes with Yousef, he looks as uncomfortable as she feels.

_Forever and ever, you’ll stay in my heart_

_And I will love you_

_Forever and ever, we never will part_

_Oh, how I love you_

_Together, forever, that’s how it must be_

_To live without you_

_Would only mean heartbreak for me_

Isak wraps his arms around Sana, singing directly to her. Yousef flinches at this.

_My darling, believe me_

_For me, there is no one but you_

_Please love me too_

_(Answer his pray)_

_And I’m in love with you_

_(Answer his pray)_

_Answer my prayer now, babe_

As the song finishes, the entire table burst into applause. Isak stands to bow while grabbing Sana’s hand and kissing it. The only person not clapping cheerily is Yousef, who looks like he’s a puppy that had just been kicked.

* * *

“Have a nice wedding” Isak beams at Sana as she walks him from the car to the airport. She rolls her eyes, still annoyed by yesterday’s event.

“I’ll tell you all about it in about 20 years. Or whenever I decide to actually talk you again”.

“Oh, Sana. It would’ve never worked out, you and I”

“Yeah, different temperance”.

Yousef sits patiently in the car. He had offered to drive them to the airport. But he had barely spoken the entire ride. His face intensively focused on the road. Thankfully, Isak had toned down the PDA. Sana glances quickly to the car. He’s barely looking at them. Isak follows her gaze. He sighs.

“Look, tell him you love him. Bite the bullet”. He kisses her cheek and Sana throws her arms around him. He turns to walk towards the gate. 

  
“Isak!” She yells after him. “What will he do?” She sounded defeated. All she needed was some sort of reassurance that she was doing the right thing. Despite the sinking feeling in her stomach. Isak walks towards her.   
“He’ll choose Noora,” he says quietly. Sana nods, tears streaming down her face. She tries to wipe them away.  “You’ll stand beside him at the wedding, kiss him goodbye and go home. That’s what you came here to do. So, do it”

Isak looks at Sana. She was both frightened and moved. He kisses her goodbye and leaves.

He was right, she thought. That was the honorable thing to do. That was what a true best friend would do. But Sana was sick of being the best friend. She had to fight. They hugged again. Isak knew that she wasn’t going to follow his advice.


	5. Chapter 5

“Isak isn’t my fiancé,” Sana begins, for a brief moment she considers telling the truth. But the lie stumbles out of her like she can’t even control herself. “It’s been over for ages. But he can’t accept it. I’d build you up so much that he couldn’t lose face in front of you. He could never stack up to the one man I measure everyone against.“

Yousef stared at the car floor, avoiding her gaze. He fiddled his fingers on the steering wheel.

“This is strange. I got to tell you when you told me you were marrying Isak. I got this really strange…”

“You were jealous,” Sana says surprised by this revelation. He was jealous of Isak? Was this her window?

He nods. “Crazy jealous”. She could barely believe it. She thought back to when Yousef told her about his engagement. The feeling of the air being punched out of her. Her actually falling to the floor. Imagining Yousef experiencing the same emotions heartened her. “Could we maybe spend some time this afternoon? Would that be alright?”

Sana nods. She smirked to herself. Suddenly, she felt like there was hope. Isak was wrong. He was going to leave Noora. He had to.

* * *

 

Yousef had recommended a sightseeing boat ride through Copenhagen. Something which Sana had reservations about. 

They lean on the rail on the boat, standing in the back away from the tourists.

“I hardly see her. Noora has all these things to do”.

“You have the rest of your lives,” Sana reassures him. Why is she doing that? “Getting your bed made. Every day,” she smirks. They smile at each other. They are so comfortable together. “You miss her, huh?”

“No. I’ve got you”.

She nods. He does have her. He stares at her. There’s a comfortable silence where they both gaze into each other’s eyes. Sana seeing hundreds of memories in his eyes. “I’ve been thinking a lot the last couple of days. About us, actually”.

“Have you?” Sana tries to say casually. “There’s a lot of memories to choose from”.

“It’s more than that”. Her jaw drops, shattering any pretense of being casual. Her throat tightens. When she tries to speak, no words are able to form, just a dry croak that makes Yousef laugh softly. “I mean, it’s embarrassing to say it this way...” He stops. Her eyes widen in anticipation. He smiles. He knows how to put her at ease. “You’ve sort of been the woman in my life”.  

“You’ve been the man in mine,” she says immediately.  

The boat cruises under the bridge by Nyhavn.

“And I was thinking this could be our last time. Alone. Together. You know?” 

Sana could almost see tears form in his eyes, and his voice cracked a little. It suddenly hit her. If he got married, this would probably be the last time. No more trips together. No more 4 am calls. Sana can barely keep herself together. 

“Except for the hot affairs, we’ll have twice a year,” she quips, trying to lighten the mood.

“Except for that”.

She’s smiling so easily. He had a way of making her stomach turn in knots.

“I can’t wait for your wedding. Someday”.

“Me either,” she says, almost surprising herself. 

Yousef raises his eyebrows, surprised. He’s taken aback by this revelation. “I never thought I’d hear you say that. Can I come?”

She tries to desperately to hold herself together. Of course, you’d be there. You’re going to be the groom, she thought.

“I couldn’t have it without you”

“It’s normal to have second thoughts, huh? To be scared”

“I wouldn’t know. I never had that many first thoughts”

“I mean, you commit to a wedding. And then it seems like.. this.. momentum, you know? You forget you chose it”.

“You and I. In all of your relationships. We haven’t used the word ‘love’ a lot, have we?”

“No”.

“Noora says, when you love someone you say it, you say it out loud. Right now”. 

Sana took a step back. The words on her lips. I love you. Don’t get married. Choose me. Before any words could form, Yousef continued. 

“Or the moment passes you by. She’s a smart girl”. 

And her moment passed. She turned to the water, trying to hide her disappointment. 

“We don’t have a song”. 

Sana chuckles. “Hmm?”

“Noora and I. We don’t have a song. Is that a bad sign?”

She shrugs. This wasn’t really the earth shattering, relationship destroying info she wanted. These people I swear, Sana thought. Suddenly, Yousef starts singing.

_Tell me what you really like_

_Baby, I can take my time_

She doesn’t want to cry. She puts in all the strength she has to fight back tears. He was singing. He was singing their song.

_We don’t have to fight_

_Just take it step-by-step_

_I can see it in your eyes_

_Cause they never tell me lies_

He stops singing and flashes that sweet boyish smile she loved. He holds his arms up. She moves into them. And they begin swaying, turning so slowly, and bodies melted into each other. She felt his breath through her hijab into his neck. Yousef still singing, whispering into her ear.

_You’ve been scared of love and what it did to you_

_You don’t have to run, I know what you’ve been through_

_Just a simple touch and it set you free_

_We don’t have to rush when you’re alone with me_

She moves in closer, biting her lip, resting her head on his shoulders.

“When did we first hear this?”

“The day I caught you dancing in the living room”. His face turns red, recalling the embarrassing memory. She laughs. She lifts his face up, so they’re staring directly into each other’s eyes. “The day I fell in love”. She felt a shiver going through her spine. 

He smiles and continues singing.

_I feel it coming_

* * *

 

 

Yousef had just walked Sana to her hotel when he asks her to pick up the airplane tickets from Noora’s dad’s office. She cocked her head and wondered why Elias couldn’t do it. She didn’t even have to finish her sentence before they both started laughing. She agreed. 

Noora’s father’s office building was out of a movie. Sana was a freelance writer, so the sheer scope of Albert Sætre’s publishing company overwhelmed her. She dropped her name to the receptionist who didn’t hesitate to buzz her up to his office. She kept telling Sana how much Noora had told everyone about Sana. She just rolled her eyes. As soon as Albert saw he scooped her into a hug. Seriously, this family and hugs.

“I have a meeting, but the tickets are in my office. You can pick it up there”.

Sana raised her eyebrow. Was this billionaire seriously allowing her to just waltz into his office? His assistant pointed her in the direction of the office. It wasn’t hard to miss the glass corner office.

 The tickets was the first thing she noticed when she opened the door. She sat down at Albert desk and stared at the envelope. 

She remembered, Noora’s wedding ring in her pocket, and she picked it up and opened the little black box. It was beautiful, she thought. It deserved to be on her fingers. She peeked around, making sure no one was watching. And then, she slipped it onto her finger. It fit her perfectly. 

Sana walked to enjoy the view of Copenhagen. The people felt like ants compared to her. 

It wasn’t until then, Sana noticed that Albert forgot to turn on his computer. Sana’s eyes glazed over the screen until she noticed a familiar name. William Magnusson. That was Yousef’s boss at Sport’s Magazine. Sana’s jaw dropped as she read the email.

_I have offered Yousef Acar, my new son-in-law, a great opportunity in my company. This would also enable my daughter to settle down somewhere permanently instead of being a nomad. And allow for her to follow her dreams and plans. To his own detriment, as well as ours, Yousef will not accept our offers. While he works for you. My daughter joins me in this plea for your cooperation and discretion._

_With gratitude. For your understanding._

_Albert._

This was it. This was Sana’s chance, and she didn’t even have to scheme for it. She had to make sure Yousef saw this. She whipped out her phone and tried to text him when Albert’s assistant enters.

“You found the tickets?”

Sana nods. She leaves her phone on the desk and leaves. She tries to take the ring off, but it’s stuck. She pulls at the ring, yet it refuses to budge. Fuck my life, Sana thinks. This is the worst week of her life.

That night at a dinner, Sana tells everyone she forgot her phone at the office. She hides her finger throughout. Yousef offers to go with her. Yes, her plan is working. Okay, maybe she was a little sneaky. But it wasn’t her plot! The email sustains her throughout the dinner, where Noora is glued to Yousef’s side. Albert assistant hands Yousef the keys to the building. 

They struggled to open the door. Sana kicks it, frustrated.

“It’s not a big deal. She gave us the wrong key”

“Isn’t there a guard? A janitor? Fucking cleaning woman? I’ll take burglar! Somebody’s gotta be in there?”

She slams her whole body against the glass, making it rattle. She starts looking around hysterically. “Where’s a brick? Find me a brick!!”

Yousef looks at confounded. He tries to calm her down.

“You can’t live without your phone for one night. Let’s enjoy the night. It’s my final night as a bachelor”

“I have to answer some messages. I have deadline”

“So do I! I’m getting married”

“That’s the point,” she mutters.

He looks perplexed at her comment.

“Tonight’s my last chance. My phone’s up there next to Walter’s computer”

“You can’t win ‘em all”

Her eyes begin to fill with tears. He’s mystified. He reaches out to comfort her, his hand on her shoulder, fiddling the end of her hijab.

“I love you” she wept. A reassuring smile flashed across Yousef's face. He hugs her tight.

“I love you too”. 

She holds onto him, which surprises him. They stand there for almost two minutes just breathing each other in, arms tightly around each other. She was desperately trying to hold onto him. She wondered if they could stay like this for 24 hours, making him miss the wedding. Mostly she hugged him for all the times she didn’t. Maybe if she had, this wouldn’t be happening. He wouldn’t be marrying someone who isn’t her. When they untangle Yousef takes a step back overwhelmed. He offers to talk her home. She nods.

 

* * *

 

Yousef and a devastated Sana board the elevator. Yousef presses floor 15 and Sana presses floor 11. Sana folds her arms on the edge of tears. Yousef is mystified by her behavior. They reach her floor, and Sana says goodbye. Yousef watches her walk down the hall, head down, sobbing quietly.

“Sana!” Sana turns her heel. “This thing means that much to you”

“It means everything”.

  
“I’ll call the house, Albert’s probably not even asleep. I’ll drive you there. We'll get the key, we’ll go back to the office”

Her mouth drops. She can’t believe this. She throws her arms around him, hugging him, so close. He laughs, she’s so weird today. She pullers back glowing.

“Come on, we’ll call from your room,” he laughs. “If I fall asleep at the altar tomorrow you better be there to catch me”.

She nods. Yousef’s phone buzz. He looks at it and frowns. “My boss. Won’t even leave me alone on my wedding day”.

They arrive at Sana’s door. She turns the key.

“Five emails from him”.

Sana is barely paying attention. She opens the door, he follows her in, reading his phone. He stops dead in his track. His face freezes to stone.

“Yousef?”

“Yousef. I can’t believe I’m doing this to you on the night before your wedding. But I think you need to know what you’re marrying into”.

 He hands Sana his phone. She reads it. Oh my god, this is happening.

_I received the following email this after… “I need a favor. My daughter’s every happiness..._

Sana’s jaw drops. It’s the mail. It’s the nail in the coffin. Her eyes bug out of her head. She keeps reading. It’s all there. She could barely her eyes.

“I need to call Noora”. She reaches out to him to comfort him.

Yousef looks more sick than angry like his heart had just been cut out of him. She doesn’t know what to say or do, so she just stands there, staring dumbly.

“Can I have a moment?” Sana nods and stumbles out of the room, closing the door behind her.

She sinks to the floor in the empty corridor, clutching her heart, which is beating faster than it ever has. She doesn’t feel elated. Not being able to get the look on Yousef’s face out of her mind. This wasn’t her fault, she thought. None of this was her fault. She sits for a few minutes completely shell shocked. She tries to block out Yousef’s yelling from inside the room. 

Suddenly, the door opens, Sana falls through it, flat on her back at Yousef’s feet. She stares up at him, her vision almost blinded by the light. He looks like a god like she shouldn’t be staring directly at him. He looks as bad as she feels.

“What happened?” She whispers.

“It’s over,” he says softly. Then, he crouches down close beside her.

“What did she say.”

“She denied it. Said I was crazy and paranoid”

“That’s a bad combination”.

He tries to smile but she can tell that it’s hard.

“There’s this big brunch tomorrow morning at her place.”

“Yousef,” she say,s softly. “Maybe tomorrow you’ll feel different”.

“The job thing would have broken us, eventually, anyway. She couldn’t have lived it. I know that. And she’s right, I’m crazy to fall for someone. I hardly knew”.

He looks deep in her eyes. He’s so glad she’s there.

“Hey, you still got the ring”.

Sana laughs, holding her left hand up. The ring is on a finger, swollen and raw. He smiles at that. A sad smile of friendship. Then he takes her finger and gently into his mouth. It’s something like a kiss. When he removes her moistened finger, he pulls the ring off. Like it was nothing. She blinks. Are you fucking kidding me?

Yousef ends up spending the night at Sana’s. They share the big king sized bed. Yousef is restless the entire night. Sana doesn’t get sleep the whole night. She just stares at him. He looks so beautiful. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. She knew what she had to do.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is kind of open-ended. I definitely want to write another chapter. question is, will it take as long as this one did.

Her eyes watered as she finished the letter. She looked over at Yousef sprawled out on her bed, still sleeping. He looked like a mess like he was having some nightmare and he was unable to wake up. Today was supposed to be the happiest day of his life. It might’ve been if Sana hadn’t shown up. If she hadn’t brought negative thoughts and poisonous energy. She walked over to him. She could hear him breathing unevenly. He looked so beautiful, she thought. In a few hours, he would wake up to an empty room. Sana would’ve left and he’d find a letter explaining everything. Every unsavory thought Sana had since their very first phone call. He would hate her. He had every right to. She hated herself. She allowed herself to enjoy this final moment with him. He was such a loud sleeper, Sana thought to herself. She couldn’t help but smile at that. She placed the letter on the nightstand and grabbed her bag. I better go. And then she turned around and leaned down to kiss his cheek. She lingered here, allowing herself to enjoy it a little.

\----

Sana knocked on the apartment door. Loudly. Isak jumped. It sounded like they were being robbed. He cautiously checked to see who it was. He relaxed once he saw his petite hijab wearing friend standing on the other side of the door. Mascara was running down her cheeks.

“Isn’t there a wedding you need to stop?” He smiled a little sadly. She looked up at him, arms crossed, eyes dark. He reaches out to touch her. She stiffens a little before slouching into his arms.

“I said goodbye.” She cried.

Sana preceded to explain everything that happened since Isak left. He alternately between being proud of her and shaking his head. He lets her stay for a few days to get her mind sorted out. She misses several calls from Elias. Finally, he just texts her. I know what you did. He’s a mess. She doesn’t answer.

One day she’s walking down the Oslo streets when she hears someone shriek her name. She freezes. She recognizes that voice. She runs into the nearest store, panicked, and hides.  
“I SEE YOU, SANA BAKKOUSH”

She hears behind her. “At least have the fucking nerve to talk to my face. You ruined my wedding!”. The store turns quiet. All eyes on Noora and Sana.

“Hi Noora”, Sana says looking straight into her eyes. Avoiding everyone else’s gaze. Noora got in Sana’s face and pushed her.

“Who the hell do you think you are”. She punctuated every word with a push. Sana leaned against the dressing room door. She felt a fire hot anger rising up in her.

“Catfight!” a random lady yelled. Noora’s eyes were filled with the anger Sana felt.

“You came to my wedding pretending to be my friend”, she cried. “And I made you my maid of honor,” she said as if she was telling the plot line to a joke.

“Who asked you to do that?” Sana asked indignantly. Sana had done a few wrong things but she wasn’t the one who prepositioned something so ludicrous. “You knew me, what? Eight minutes”.

“Yousef trusted you, so I trusted you”.

“You wanted to keep me close. You didn’t trust me for a second”

“I was right,” Noora yelled.

Sana laughed mockingly. “Well, of course, you were right. That’s not my fault”. She crossed her arms and smirked. 

“You tried to break us up!”

“And I failed. I didn’t break you guys up. Your dad did”.

Noora steps back. She bows her head. “No, he didn’t,” she whispered. All of the sudden the anger was gone. Tears started to well up. Sana dropped the tough girl act. She became genuinely worried for this girl. What was wrong with her? This was supposed to be her romantic rival. The one who had taken Yousef from her. She placed a reassuring arm on Noora’s shoulder. They both seemed unsure of this sign of affection. The crowd had disappeared. Women supporting each other was apparently not as fun as a catfight. “He didn’t break us up. He just made us see what we already knew.

“And that is?” Sana tried to keep her voice neutral. By the sound of Noora’s slightly bitter laugh, she failed.

“We weren’t ready. I’m not ready to get married. I want my own life first”.

“So, what was this for?” Sana laughs. She couldn’t help it. They were about to throw down and now Noora was crying. And Sana felt sorry for her.

“I wasn’t expecting to see the walking reminder of my failure”.

“Noora, you’re not a failure”.

“Sure, he feels like it”.

“Do you want to get me some coffee?”

“Is this an attempt to ruin something else in my life?” Noora laughs.

“Yeah, your killer body. It’s annoying” Sana smirked.

\-------

Spending time with Noora was surprisingly uncomplicated. They actually liked each other when there wasn’t an air of competition around. They ended up hanging out a few times over the next month. They would always avoid talking about Yousef. But one time the subject briefly turned to Turkish elephant and both of them got awkward. “Yousef is Norway, you know”, Noora said and looked intently at Sana to gauge her reaction.

“Yeah?”

“He’s by the ocean apparently, which is weird because he said he heated beaches”.

Sana smiled to herself. He didn’t always. There was one time where he loved them. Usually, because he was with Sana.

 

On Sana’s drive home, she couldn’t help but miss her exit. She continued driving until she reached the ocean. The waves crashed into each other as the sky turned slightly pink. Sana couldn’t help but be reminded of Mutta’s wedding all those years ago. It seemed like a lifetime ago. She was so young. Never even considered how her happily ever after would look. Although in the back of her mind, she was certain, she imagined it with Yousef. That’s why that call was such a shock to her. It forced her to realize that maybe that wasn’t Yousef’s dream.

 

In the distant, Sana saw him, his hair flaring around. A smile washed across her face as she started hurrying her steps. Until she stopped herself. She wasn’t sure how he was going to react. He hadn’t tried to contact her since her letter. 

 

“You didn’t get married,” was all she could breathe out. He averted his eyes and started fidgeting with his hair. She wished she could reach out and touch it. Calm him down maybe. Trace her fingers from his hair to cheek to jaw and finally his lips. 

“You have the worst timing,” he says. 

“I know,” she half chuckled. He looked up at her and strained himself to a smile. Sana felt a pit in her stomach. She hated seeing him like this. You haven’t done anything wrong, she tried to remind herself. It didn’t work.

“I couldn’t,” he says.

 

He sits down in the sand again. Sana follows, plopping down right next to him. They sat there in silence for what felt like forever but was probably just a few seconds. Yousef’s nose was scrunched in concentration. Like he was unable to know what to say next. All Sana could hear was the waves. And her guilt, which at this point was probably louder than the waves. “She wasn’t a part of that, you know,” he finally continues. “Noora”. 

“I do. I kind of put that whole thing in her head”.

“I know”, he laughs. He flashes her a genuinely warm smile that makes the butterflies in Sana’s stomach go insane. She draws a breath to calm herself. He looks towards the ocean; his face turns serious.

“Albert came up with the idea. They talked about it. And even though she tried to convince me otherwise, I know she wanted it”.

Sana remembers her talk with Noora, when she first planted the idea. Her innocent doe eyes as she deviously tried to break them apart.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being such a bad friend. You deserved better than that”

“Do I?” Yousef raises his eyebrows. He looks at her. Sana can barely believe this. What is he talking about?

“Of course, you’re one of the best people I know,” she says quickly adamantly defending him. He looks unconvinced.

“Noora, asked me something when we broke up. She asked me if I was stringing her along because I was scared you’d never want me.” He said almost shamefully. He didn’t look at her. Just avoiding her gaze. This stumped Sana. Her mouth gaped slightly open. Yousef was never the type to hide his emotions or his vulnerabilities. It was one of the things she loved the most about him. He was a wear your heart on your sleeves kind of guy. It was the complete opposite of Sana. Where he was light, she was dark. Where he was warm, she was cold. It didn’t make sense but it was how they were perfect.

 

Sana tried to form words. She could barely believe it. She opened her mouth to speak. “I think she was right,” he finally says. Almost like it was the first time he was admitting it to himself. “Does that make me a good person? Or does that make me a user?”

“Who the hell is a good person anyway?” she interrupts him defiantly. “I hate those terms. Good or bad. It’s so simplistic. Why can’t we just be people who make mistakes”.

“I don’t think anyone has ever made as big of a mistake as I did. I hurt someone who loved me”

“Not intentionally,” she says. “Unlike me. I tried to hurt you because I thought I was saving you”. 

“We’re quite the pair”, he laughs. It’s a genuine laugh that breaks through the wind and the crashing waves. Sana laughs too. She doesn’t even know why. Just that it feels good. She can’t even remember the last time she’d laughed like this.

She reaches out to touch his hand. He looks at her, slightly taken aback. Noticing her jiggering, he moves closer to her and folds his arms around her. She can feel his breath on her skin. For a moment, they both linger before Sana rests her head on his shoulder. This feels like that night on the beach in Greece. All the needed was a loud wedding party in the background. 

“I love you,” she whispers into his neck. He laughs and kisses the top of her hijab. 

“I love you too”. 

“I do want you. I’m sorry that it took me this long to realize that. I’m sorry I got us into this mess. None of it would’ve happened if I was more open with my feelings”.

“You don’t have to apologize to me”.


End file.
